WritingbyJordan

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had a relationship since adolescence

Maybe it’s because I haven’t held a job

Maybe it’s because I haven’t found my ‘way’

or that I’m almost thirty and jobless and single and living with the parents

Maybe it’s because I’m losing all my friends

because I get mad at them for being themselves

as I am with everyone I care about

Maybe it’s because I can’t sleep

and the negative thoughts have nothing to hold them back but silence and darkness

Maybe it’s because I smoke too much weed

or watch too much porn

or stay up too late

or sleep in too long

Or maybe it’s because of the trauma as a kid

Maybe it’s because I went left instead of right that one day in pre-school

Or that one day at Christmas

Maybe it’s because death seems adventurous

or solitude is more colourful

Maybe it’s because of all of this

that I am the way I am

Feel the way I feel

Or maybe

It’s the other way around